Renewing the Mind of the Man in the Mirror
                                                                                       By  Karah Raphaelita Newton
                                                                                                             February 01, 2016
                         

      
 
 
 
 
This is one of the most complex articles  I have written to date.  For some time now I have been grappling with the growing divide between our law enforcement and the minority community.  Here is a reality:  America has many enemies outside of the country who are seeking to destroy us,   so it is critical that we resolve whatever challenges we are dealing with in this country between us as fellow Americans.  Together as a nation, we must focus our collective energy on ensuring that these external forces do not destroy our beloved country.  
 
First, let me start by saying that the vast majority of police officers serve our community with honor, courage, integrity, sincerity of heart, and patience.  There are some officers who may not share these same values as the majority of their peers.   As in every profession, you have the good and the bad.  With that being said, let’s proceed to further examine the issue of the alienation between law enforcement and the minority community.
 
Everyone has a part to play if the relationship between the minority communities and police officers is going to improve. In any profession, calling out a co-worker takes courage. It requires you to transcend feelings of disloyalty to do the right thing. In order to close the gap between law enforcement officers and the minority communities they serve, upstanding officers will have to be prepared to call out their peers who are treating the public disrespectfully.
 
It will take some time to weed out those police officers who just don't quite fit the profile for the job.   To be honest, we as a society may never be able to weed out the few bad police officers.  Like every profession, law enforcement has its share of rotten apples.  This reality is beyond the control of the average citizen.
               
As members of the public, what we do have direct control of is our personal behavior.   Let's put greater  focus on teaching our children from the cradle that dropping out of school, cutting classes, stealing, burglarizing, fighting, selling drugs,  selling guns, and other such criminal behavior are just not an option and a way of life,  no matter how bad things get.   Let's not make any excuse for Little Johnnie's bad behavior when he is three years old.  Rather, let’s do everything humanly possible to learn how we can help point Little Johnnie in the right direction. 
 
 
By having fewer children, single parents will find themselves in a better position to give their offspring a higher quality of life and to increase the overall standard of living of their families. What if I am a single mom with two or more children?  What are my options in this situation?  First of all, there is no mistake in the birth of any human being, and that includes your children. God loves them and has a purpose and plan for each of them.  As single parents it is comforting to know that none of our children are a surprise to God.  Even though we may not have planned to have them, God sure was planning for them.
 
One of the first things that we as parents (single or two parents) need to do is pray.  Let's understand that we are not in this alone.  Ask God for wisdom and direction.  Speak to people who have successfully raised children.  Do you have a natural skill that can bring in additional income?   Search out to see if there are any programs out there that will train you for a viable career. See if you can qualify for any government social assistance programs.   If possible, get support from the children's father.  Sit down with someone who can help you map out a medium to long plan on how to address some of the challenges you and your children may be confronting. Be encouraged.  Find a solid church that teaches how to apply the Scriptures to the everyday life of you and your family.  As much as your time would permit, get involved with your children’s lives.  Keep an open line of communication with your children, their school, and any other care givers that are involved in your children's lives. 
 
 
Seeking answers on how to effectively socialize our children should include praying to our Heavenly Father for wisdom, as well as putting in place a simple plan such as the following, to encourage positive behavior in our children:

• Limit the number of hours children watch television. A good rule of thumb to monitor kids’ TV viewing is No TV during the week; limited and selective TV viewing on week-ends.

 

• Limit the type of computer games to which your kids are exposed. There are some games out there that feature hair raising violence.

 

• Organize frequent visits with your children to the library. Find out what enriching activities the library offers to help your children become more well-rounded individuals.

 

• Set aside time for a daily reading session with your kids. Read to them and have them read to you. Select books that feature biographies of inspiring individuals that your kids can emulate. If you as a parent do not feel comfortable reading books, check out from the library books on CD's along with the books and read along with the CD's. 

 

• Plan a family meal a couple of times a week; encourage your child/children to speak.  Have healthy, positive conversations with your children.  As difficult as it may sound, try to eliminate negative and swear words.

 
You may think that you have to be well off economically to implement this plan. Wrong.  This is the plan I read in a book called “Gifted Hands" (the Dr. Ben Carson story) approximately eighteen years ago. This mom was divorced or maybe separated, a housekeeper, who did not know how to read, a single mother, who incorporated this plan which made a tremendous positive difference in her two boys' lives.  By the way,  one of her sons, Ben Carson,  a gifted surgeon,  is in the running (2015) for president of the United States.  
 
There are many local community activities  to which we could expose our children that are absolutely free.  Events such as community  parades, craft shows, fairs, and activities at public libraries that promote literacy are free.  There are free Parent magazines that are available in some local businesses. Pick up a magazine and read the articles that enlighten you as parents in your situation.   Let's ask God to help us to live a moral life style. Children not only listen to what we say, but they also watch the life style we lead.    Let's use some common sense approach to family planning.   The more children we as single moms have, the further the already limited money will have to stretch. The double income of two-parent households just simply makes it more practical and easier to make it financially than single-parent households.  Let's seek our Heavenly Father for wisdom and direction.  He loves us.  Men, let us be actively involved in our children's lives.  Let’s not be satisfied to be merely a sperm donor. .   
 
For the most part, interactions between law abiding citizens and police officers are free of intimidation. The majority of police officers take their job seriously and do an excellent job.  They place their life on the line every day. Are there a few officers who have wrong intentions?   Yes, there are (as in every profession). Let us not judge the majority because of the inappropriate behavior of the few.